first date since the big D

OK, Here we go. I went to a bar alone. I met a guy. We connected. We danced. We laughed. We flirted. We kissed. It was amazing. He asked me out for this weekend IF his kids are at their mom's. That's not ideal, I know, but I have kids, and I understand this. I really do. He called tonight, and explained this. He said I hope you won't be upset if we can't go out this Friday. I told him I had kids and I would understand.

Today was a crazy run non-stop day. It was a day that was spent almost completely in the car. When Frank( I'll call him Frank til I find out if he is or not) and I were talking tonight, he asked me about my day. I told him how it was busy, and I didn't go to the gym today. He said, "From what I could tell Friday night, it didn't look or feel like you need to worry about going to the gym". I told him my cholesterol level needed me to go to the gym. If he was here in person though, and he would have said that to me, I probably would have stripped naked and given myself to him. Haha. I know, I know, I know, I must keep going to the gym. I gotta stay on the plan, but it was so nice to be touched the other night. Touched and complimented, now that's a good combination.

My lips are actually getting chapped, because I keep licking them, remembering him kissing me. It's been a couple years since I have been kissed. It's been almost that long since I have had sex. And it's been many years, since I've danced and been held close, in a man's arms. It felt soooo good there. I put my hands under the arms of his t-shirt and touched his upper arms. It felt very intimate and personal. He is a construction worker. I know I've talked about another construction worker before. But he's gone now. Nothing ever happened there. Something is happening with Frank, though. There was a connection between us. We told each other a few dark secrets, and wondered why it was so easy to. I do not know how long this connection will last.

This bar that we met in used to be a rough place. I had not been there in about 15 years. He had not been there in about 13 years. Then on the same night, we decide to go check it out. It is much nicer now. Much. Haha. Here's the thing. I am not the same person who used to hang out in that bar. He lives in the town where the bar is, so I am hoping that if he talks about me, no blasts from the past remember me. We'll see. I am not going to dwell on this, or make a mountain out of a molehill. :)

I am really hoping that we go out and have fun, and kiss and touch each other. Another snag in this is that we live about 2 hours apart. He asked me where I wanted to go on a date and I told him I'd choose the town and he would choose what we did. I'm not sure why, but I am glad the planning is on him. I want him to be in control of a few things. I want to ride in his truck and feel his arm touching me as he changes gears. I actually don't know what he drives or if it's a standard or an automatic.

When we danced, he didn't ask me to. He took my hand and said, "Let's dance." Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. I want him to lead when we dance. I'll let you know what happens, if we do go out.