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I exercised again tonight. Now this may seem like a boring subject, but I am really bad to neglect this part of my life. I am also bad about doing it for a short time, and then abandoning ship. I have exercised three days in a row. I have The Biggest Loser wii game. Jillian Michaels is a Dom, if I've ever seen one! haha That's what I need though.
As I exercise I fantasize about my future. I have no idea what the future holds. I mean, I'm not Dionne Warwick. :) However, I push myself by thinking of what it could be. Fantasies are great because they don't have to be based on reality at all. In reality, I am single. In my fantasies, I am not. But daily, my fantasy man changes. Sometimes he is gentle and sweet. Somedays, he's rough and hardcore. But he always makes me exercise! haha
See, with a real person, I can't change him to suit my whims. In my fantasy, I'm not torn between arguing with him and agreeing with him. I love to argue too much! This is just in certain areas though. I hate conflict, and go out of my way to keep things peaceful.
See what I mean about trying to find myself? I am a psycho! Oh well, I could be worse things.... :)
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Who am I?
Who am I? That is what I am trying to figure out. It is sad perhaps, that I am still trying to figure it out. I am in my 30's, yet, most of the time I feel like I am about fifteen. You know when you are fifteen, you are very gullible and trying to fit in with others. Yeah, that's me.
The husband is gone, which is a good thing, in most ways. I have been exercising, which is good. I am tired of being overweight. I am thinking of putting my weight and amounts of exercise in this blog, just for accountability. I have let myself go. That's what people say. What does that mean? I have let myself go to pot? I have let myself go without while taking care of others? I don't know.
I know I gotta be careful. Dating seems like a very scary thing. I want to be touched though. I miss that. So, as of today I weigh 199. I exercised Monday and Tuesday.
The husband is gone, which is a good thing, in most ways. I have been exercising, which is good. I am tired of being overweight. I am thinking of putting my weight and amounts of exercise in this blog, just for accountability. I have let myself go. That's what people say. What does that mean? I have let myself go to pot? I have let myself go without while taking care of others? I don't know.
I know I gotta be careful. Dating seems like a very scary thing. I want to be touched though. I miss that. So, as of today I weigh 199. I exercised Monday and Tuesday.
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