Sunday, January 20, 2013

Screw Psychologists at Your Own Risk

I don't know where to begin. Ughh...I'm pissed, but I can't really explain why. I started fucking a psychologist in August. He has lots of baggage, but who doesn't, right? He's more than a psychologist. He's a good man. That's how I always see men in the early stages. It was sex in the beginning. We talked about the kind of sex we wanted. I told him I wanted raw, rough sex. He seemed ok to play the role of dominant male. Then later he questions why I want sex like that. He wants to know all my dark and twisted secrets. He holds me after sex. I tried to not cuddle. I tried to keep my secrets, but he kept on until I told him some things. I started trusting him more. He told me about a dark and twisted secret he had that he said he had never told anyone. During sex he asks me questions like, "Do you love me?" or "Is this the best sex you've ever had?" I don't like to have conversations when I'm having sex. When I tell him yes, I love him, he says, "Oh hell, you love everybody. If I tell him I like him, he says, "You know you love me." When I tell him it's the best sex I've ever had, he says,"Yeah right." When I laugh and tell him I've had better, he says, "Yeah right." When he was out of state over the holidays he called and texted me continuously. After coming back home, he seems distant. He teaches at the college I go to. When I see him he always hugs me and tells me how great I look. We've had sex usually at least a few times a month. His mixed signals are driving me crazy. Is it just sex or does he have feelings? Does him not calling or texting me much mean he's ready to stop seeing me?

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