letting go and not whining in the rain

I was driving home today(about an hour drive). I heard Elvis singing "Kentucky Rain". It's a song about him(the singer) looking for his love who left him. Apparently, he has no car because he's walking around Kentucky looking for her, getting a ride with a preacher who he tells his troubles to. It made me wonder why anyone would leave Elvis. I mean he was so freakin hot. Confident. Controlling. Choosing Priscila's clothes and hair-do's. Sounds great. But then I thought well, maybe it was about his woman leaving him after he got all crazy,overweight, and addicted to drugs. That's not so hot.

OK, so I realize Elvis didn't write this song. Eddie Rabbit and Dick Heard wrote it. What? Yes, Dick Heard, that's his real name I suppose. Anyway, she left. He says he doesn't know why she'd run. What she's running to or from. All he wants to do is bring her home. So off he goes in the cold Kentucky rain to find her. Could he be more pitiful? No. I don't think so. My advice would be the same advice Garth gave Stacy in "Wayne's World", which was, "Just get over it and go out with somebody else."

That's not always easy. There have been a few guys that it was hard for me to move on after being with. My trucker friend and Dan. I was very young and naive then though. I hadn't completed the wall around myself yet. I am divorcing soon. I am scared of what I will be like when I am single. I have made many mistakes in my past. I hope I have learned from them. In the past I have slept with men who I felt were better than me, so when they wanted to have sex, of course, I couldn't say no. I have also slept with men who I felt bad for, I didn't want to hurt their feelings, so I had sex with.

There have been a few times I truly wanted to. My trucker friend. Dan. Some counseling is probably in order. Or have I learned that I can say no? I do have more self confidence than I used to, but not really a healthy dose of it. I have to be sure before I plunge into something. Sex without commitment is always regrettable. Most of the time for me anyway.

Moving on, as scary as it is...